E-RFD: Zoo Rescue

Oregon's only conservative politician was riding his Harley by the zoo one day when he saw a little girl leaning into the lion's cage. Suddenly, the lion grabbed her by the cuff of her jacket and tried to pull her inside to devour her, right in front the little girl's screaming parents.

He rode up to the spot, got off his bike, ran to the cage, and hit the lion square on the nose with a powerful punch. Whimpering from pain, the lion jumped back letting go of the little girl, and the man brought her to her terrified parents, who thanked him endlessly.

A reporter saw the whole scene, and addressed the man saying,  "Sir, that was the bravest thing I ever saw a man do in my entire life. Who are you?"

Fully aware of the local paper's political stance, the biker said, "Just another heroic Republican conservative"

His eyes narrowing, the journalist said, "I'll make sure this won't go unnoticed.  Tomorrow my  paper will have this on the front page."

The journalist left and the following morning the biker bought the paper to see if it indeed mentioned his actions.  Sure enough, on front page he read the following headline:

"Right Wing Motorcycle Gangster Assaults African Immigrant and Steals His Lunch."