Bush: 'If I were Hezbollah, I'd be claiming victory, too... 
[They've] got a fantastic propaganda machine'... 

August 14, 2006 -- From the Associated Press: BEIRUT, Lebanon Hezbollah leader Sheik Hassan Nasrallah said Monday that his guerrillas achieved a "strategic, historic  victory" against Israel - a declaration that prompted celebratory gunfire across the Lebanese capital. 

Israel, to nobody's surprise, doesn't see it that way.  Being a conservative, I am bound by a concept liberals deny exists.  This concept is called "the truth."   An historic  perusal of the conservative memory covering recent Middle-East decades produces a mental pie of truth, each slice of which is an example of a time when a Jew said one thing and a Moslem said another -- and upon investigation it turned out that the Jew was describing reality and the Moslem was describing the same thing American liberals describe as a matter of course: a fairy tale.

Iran recently released a cartoon  pictorial about the Holocaust.  I haven't seen it.  I don't need to see it.  Iran recently said that the Holocaust never happened.  Without seeing the new cartoon series, I know what it portrays, just as without seeing the film Syriana I knew what its message was simply by knowing who made the movie.  American Hollywood liberals and God only knows what large percentage of Middle-East Moslems are natural allies if for no other reason than that they are professional liars.

After winning the Revolutionary War, George Washington submitted a bill for expenses (no salary demand), got in a nice carriage and went home.  No military victor of such rank and power had ever done that before in the history of the world.  Few have done it, since.  The scumbag, Fidel Castro, fortunately now deteriorating in Cuba, didn't upon winning his revolution turn his back on power and go home to his farm.  He became a dictator.  The North American experience was at the time unique, and to a great extent remains unique to this very day.

One could ask who elected Hezbollah leader Sheik Hassan Nasrallah (or the King of Jordan, for that matter) and wonder why, now that (according to him) his side has won, he doesn't get in a carriage and go home.  For my part, I'd like to know what, just based on his most recent comments, Hezbollah leader Sheik Hassan Nasrallah has been smoking, of late.

Hezbolla won?  Israel lost?  Name a square foot of Israel that Hezbolla now controls.  One square foot is all I demand for proof of his claim.  The Middle-East, we have been told by Hollywood, the Big American Media, Europe minus some in Great Britain, and all the major world news services, is an area where it is all about real estate.  Who doesn't remember Israel's recent return of all sorts of captured real estate as their part of a U.N. peace agreement whose terms were totally ignored by the Arabs.?  What are these Arabs doing with all that returned real estate?  (What people do with their real estate tells you a lot about them.)

Does anybody know the address of the automobile factory where the followers of  Hezbollah leader Sheik Hassan Nasrallah , now that they have won, can get back to manufacturing the 2006 Sunni V8 SUV?  (Arabs would only make muscle cars, I think.)  How about the plant where they make official Islamic toothbrushes?  Vacuum cleaners?  Can anybody name any product other than explosive ones made anywhere by any of this idiot's followers -- or, for that matter, any follower of anybody like him in the whole damned Middle-East? 

The Greeks build ships.  What, besides the assembly of bomb components, do these particular Arabs build?  The French make wine, the Germans and the Japanese make cars, the U.S.A. makes food (its farmers feed half the world) and airplanes, Scandinavians harvest the oceans, South Africa digs up diamonds, Brazil digs up bauxite (or is it New Zealand that does that?) and Monaco has a great Formula One road race.

You've come up empty?  Okay, how about the crops they grow? Please inform me of the historic Hezbollah accomplishments in the area of agriculture.  Which plants are they famous for growing?  Where are their giant truck farms, their vast Islamic vinyards? 

What the hell, besides cashing in on the oil bonanza we found under their tents, spouting hostile religious drivel and assembling bomb components do the followers of the Islamo-fascist mullahs and political despots of the bloody Middle-East actually do?

Shoot their guns in the air?

Man oh man don't I wish I was as crafty as they are, and could shoot a gun in the air. 

Hezbollah victory, my Aunt Mabel's goiter. 

© 2006 Oregon Magazine