New York, PAC News Service -- Police were called to a flat in the New York City neighborhood known as “Little Vermont” last night when strange noises were heard emanating from second floor windows, and a poster of Hillary Clinton folded into a paper airplane sailed across the street and speared an old tomato in Riggatoni’s Fruit Stand, which is located next door to the Wesley Clark campaign headquarters. 

Right behind the poster aircraft, Howard Dean, folded like a jelly roll, flew out the same window, dropped into a New York Sanitary System collection truck and was subsequently deposited in a
New Jersey landfill. 

Police arrived to find Madeleine Albright, the former Secretary of State during the Clintoon (sp) Administration, wearing a Christian Dior thong undewear evening dress, doing the macarena around the living room with Terry McAuliff, Richard Byrd, Teddy Kennedy and the Massachusetts All Girl Convent of Our Sorrowful Trailer Trash Band. 

The flat, which is leased to the Bourgeoise Blood Bank of Randy, Arkansas, has been reputed to be a secret meeting place for the Susan Sarandon Foreign Policy Institute, and has a commode
tank with a bas relief of Charley Sheen and Tim Robbins eating toward each other on the opposing ends of a giant carrot. 

Police are investigating the incident.  Early leads from the DNC suggest that George W Bush is at fault.

© 2003 Oregon Magazine