Saturday, August 10, 2002 -- The PBS tribute to the police and fire fighters of September 11 is what set me off.  It was just a notice between programs.  But, I had been waiting for something to light the fuse ever since a local (Oregon) station official came on the screen and asked me to write them a letter about how Oregon Public Broadcasting  has changed my life.  He expects the letters to be about how much more wonderful life is for everybody now that public broadcasting's army of lefties is distorting history, generating racial divisiveness, mis-reporting the news, demeaning capitalism, deriding the Christian faith and promoting deviant sexual behavior that leads to worldwide plague.

Yessir.  OPB has changed my life.  Those men at Ground Zero were and are heros.  Flagwavers.  Patriots.  The very opposite of the scum of which public broadcasting is composed.

Take the Friday nite program called NOW, starring Bill "I never touched a drop" Moyers.  I learned from this one what is wrong with America. 

Corporations, profit, a lack of socialized medicine and, most of all, the right of people to choose who their elected representatives are. 

His guest, Ralph Nadir, told me.  Ralph knows what kind of laws, employment, dinner, car and leadership you should be forced to have.  The problem with America is that he is not the dictator.  If he were the dictator, this nation would be run correctly.  You would work for a farm commune, live in a concrete apartment complex next to a rail system that doesn't operate properly, and eat rat meat.  Your vacations would be spent in re-education meetings applauding a poster showing him bringing freedom to the people of the Earth. 

Yes, Nadir.  The reverse of Zenith.  In every fiber the essential fascist.  You vill do as ve zay.  Ve haff vays uff causing you to regret departures from our requirements.  He is one of the things for which I want to thank Oregon Public Broadcasting.  No greater reminder of final solutions and gulags could be presented.  No greater example of evil clothed in the most noble of publicly-announced intentions.  He is a natural spokesman for the people's revolutionary public broadcorping castration.  What a perfect death camp commandant he would have made.

And, I want to thank OPB for Washington Week in Review, which on Friday night once more proved that I am wrong when I say they cannot exceed the latest hypocrisy.  Last nite on that program, I learned that the nation doesn't trust President Bush.  (The most recent national survey showed exactly the opposite.)  And among those who were talking about the residents of the current White House was a very famous reporter who works for a very famous magazine. 

You know the one. They recently published a story that cleared Bill Clinton of any connection with what happened during his presidency.  Bubba, it seems, presented Bush with a plan that would have prevented September 11, solved the West Bank problem, cured AIDS, repaired crustal faults and fed all the little children of the world. Poor dummy George, who can't read, didn't understand, as usual.

And, I want to thank OPB for the local program that followed Moyers and WWR.  It was about the many wonderful film makers we have in Oregon.  This series is just like POV (Point of View).  Everybody involved is either homosexual or a liberal crusader who believes our government is too small, and that people who smoke anything other than dope should be arrested, stripped of their skin and dipped in a vat of rocksalt.  Based on the last thirty of these I have watched (just so I could report what was going on to you) anybody who believes anything that Ronald Reagan stood for should be hunted down and hurled into a deep canyon at the bottom of which are large, jagged rocks.

It is two Saturday morning.  The News Hour is re-running.  I'll make some notes for you.  First report.  Afghanistan is a dangerous place, with lots of warlords.  (Quite similar to Washington, D.C., Lost Angeles, Chicago and the South Bronx, when you think about it.)

Zimbabwe's white farmers have lost their land in a "transfer" of ownership to blacks.  (PBS can't say "government theft."  They think that's an oxymoron.  The government, as they see it, owns everything, so how can it steal from itself?)

Top officials from the Palestinian political structure are in D.C.  Economic Minister, Maher al-Masri, told us about the hardship Palestinians are suffering as a result of the unprovoked military activities of the evil Jews.  In 1999, they had a six percent economic growth rate, and now, with Bubba gone, it's a negative growth rate.  The "Is-rah-ay-lees" invaded without cause their areas and have destroyed the factories that make explosives that are duct-taped to children, thus putting many Palestinians out of work. 

And, George Bush did not actually say that Arafat had to go.  And, the U.S. needs to give the Palestinians fifty million dollars, all of which, of course, will go to the suffering Palestinian people -- except for the portion that will be used by the Palestinian authorities to guarantee the security of Israel. (Ray Suarez didn't challenge anything.)

Illegal aliens were intereviewed on camera.  They have been fighting the forest fires in the West.  Mike Cost, a private contractor for an Oregon company, prefers to work with illegal aliens.  With the help of a Spanish translator, the illegal aliens are taught how to fight fires. 

John Berger of Northwest Firefighters, Inc said he doesn't care where these people come from.  Jim Payne of the U.S. Forest Service says it's not his agency's responsibility to make sure firefighters are legal residents.   John Jackson, of the Oregon Department of Forestry said that the inability of illegal aliens to speak English represented a danger to the lives of resident firefighters if instructions have not been understood (and if communications are impossible in an emergency situation.)  With that one moment of sanity, the bulk of this piece was a justification for open borders.

A book battle at the University of North Carolina was over a requirement that all incoming students read Approaching the Koran.  This book omits portions of the Koran which recommend the killing of Christians and Jews.  Charges of religious indoctrination followed.  In addition to full revelation, opponents said, other religions must be studied, or the "separation of church and state" is violated. (Thus are liberals being hoist on their own petard.) Robert Shelton, Vice-chancellor of UNC, says that this reaction limits "free and open discussion." 

(Free and open discussion, my friends, does not exist today in American education, from kindergarten to the university level, except in certain private schools.  Arrange for Clarence Thomas to speak at your state university and see what happens.)

Joe Glover of the Family Policy Network, a Christian conservative, said that if this had been a book about the Christian Bible, the ACLU "would have done backflips" to get into action opposing the idea, and further suggested that open discussion would be served by having the students read Unveiling Islam, a book which takes a very different look at the faith, including as it does details about the Islamic attack on the World Trade Center last fall.  The liberal, of course, got the last word in this debate.

Yes, friends, public broadcasting has changed my life.  It turned me from a man who was enjoying the fruits of freedom into a man who is fighting to see that these people do not succeed in taking my freedom away.

Never, ever give these people money voluntarily.  If you find that the company for which you work has given public broadcasting money, tell your management in a respectful tone that when private enterprise gives money to socialists, it is proving that Karl Marx was right.  Capitalism will fund its own downfall.

© 2002 Oregon Magazine